that Mongolian BBQ really gave me the ring sting

roy boosted

Bernie Sanders: [drinking straight from a tap in a maple tree] yo this syrup is dummy thicc

*This message brought to you by the Vermont Tourism Board*

roy boosted

remember to take off your "i voted sticker" before going into the polls to vote again!

My best performing toot is the one where I discussed my job at the dick-sucking factory smh

All I could think about today was Joanne the Scammer taking a hit off her ex-boyfriend’s blunt and smirking as she admonished him saying, “This shit isn’t even loud.”

roy boosted

RT We, Google employees and contractors, will walkout on November 1 at 11:10am to demand these five real changes. #googlewalkout


Another day, another dollar. I love my job at the dick-sucking factory.

Almost lost my $70 a pill HIV med down the drain. I screamed like a banshee.

roy boosted

please stop boosting your shit 2 hours after you posted it. if i liked it the first time i saw it i would have faved

roy boosted

React, Rails, and the degradation of the developer experience

The web development field is a mess. Tutorials only 6 months old are out of date. I'm dependent on stac

“Are you wearing the Cha...”

“Chanel bags under my eyes? Yea. I am.”

Sorry my tweets are too spicy for you idiots.

Would probably run for President if libs wouldn’t ask gotcha questions during the debate like “do you even know what an adverb is?”

Wish there was an HIV treatment that didn’t make me feel like I’m about to shit my pants 3 times a day.

I had no idea Avril Lavigne had Lyme disease

Need to find a place in Missoula that will trim the hair in the crack of my ass

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